Tribute to Mothers and Women

I wanted to write this a little sooner but here it is Saturday night at 10:00 pm. At least it's before Mother's Day. That's where procrastination gets you. One week ago tonight I sat in a tri-stake fireside...an evening with Sheri Dew. I actually got to meet her afterwards because of my Jenn Johnson connection in my ward.

Anyway, she spoke about our influence as latter day women and how a mother has a unique kind of influence. We are so crucial to what happens in the family. Every one of us has a mission. We are here now because we are suppose to be.

I've been thinking a lot lately about my brothers and sisters...my family I grew up in and what the heck is happening to it. For quite some time I've been thinking, "Do I really matter here? Is there a reason I'm in this family? Do I connect with any of them any more? Do they even like me?" But then I got the feeling that there is a reason I am in this family. They have all touched my life deeply at one time or another. Through Sister Dew's words the Spirit confirmed my recent feelings.

As far as my kids go...they are amazing!!! I watch them growing up and think, "Scott must be doing everything right because I haven't ruined them yet." The only thing I can say for myself is that I keep trying to change and be better. Marlo is a great example to me of being very affectionate with her kids and gathering them in to hug and kiss and make them feel better. It cracks me up that her 12 year old, Brooklynn, will climb on her lap and curl up. How do you measure the impact you have on someone?

Shame on You....(NPD)

Shaming....So if you are always right, that makes me always wrong. No wonder I lack confidence in my decision making, and relationships with others, etc. Always wondering if I'm worth liking. No matter, I can be healed. Don't mind me, just putting some thoughts down. Maybe it's a little self-therapy, who knows?

Let it go, let it roll right off your shoulder. Don't you know? The hardest part is over, let it end, let your clarity define you. In the end, we will only just remember how it feels. Our lives are made in these small hours. These little wonders, these twists and turns of fate, time falls away but these small hours....still remain....it's the heart that really matters in the end...

Hope of America

Zach was in a program called Hope of America. They performed in the Marriott Center last night. I have such a great feeling for patriotism, our constitution, our blessed country. It was awesome! (Picture to come)

More on NPD or should I say Moron NPD

There is so much to be found on this topic...WOW! The essential feature of NPD is a pervasive pattern of grandiosity (either in fantasy or actual behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy (is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others). NPD is isolating, disenfranchising, painful, and formidable for those living with it and often those who are in a relationship with them. Each case may vary in its manifestation.

To the extent that people are pathologically narcissistic, they can be controlling, blaming, self-absorbed, intolerant of others' views, unaware of others' needs and of the effects of their behavior on others... To protect themselves when criticized, they often react with disdain, rage, and/or defiance. It is unusual for people to seek therapy for NPD because of subconcious fear of exposure or inadequacy.

OK, that's just a bit to get started. There's such a wide range of stuff regarding NPD but this is what I found interesting and prehaps useful?

Trip to South Dakota

Dad, Mom, Stephen, Marlo, Scott and I went on a trip to South Dakota in March to see a few sights. It was very fun! We went to Mount Rushmore, of course, and to Deadwood.

NPD - What Is It?

NPD...Narcissistic Personality Disorder. What the heck is that? Do you know anyone with this disorder? More importantly, do you have it? This has been on my mind a lot recently. I've only done a little bit of research on it...enough to know that I don't want it. Do you suffer from a relationship with someone that has this disorder? In talking with my brother, he suggested that we (my siblings and I) may all have a little bit of this disorder. I fully agree and therefore will strive forthwith to fight it.

Also, in feeling continuously hurt by someone with this disorder, I am finding that there is really no cure for it, but there are things I can do to maybe feel emotionally healed. My brother also suggested that I look at my own feelings and expectations I put on that person to be an accepted part of my life, and lay those expectations aside. That's all I can say right now. Maybe I will add more later on this topic as I learn more.

Olivia Loves Soccer

Livvy plays a great soccer game. So fun to watch!

She made two goals in her game this evening.